I am generally a cheery person. I love to laugh, smile and encourage the same in other people. But don’t let that peppy facade fool you. You see, I am an artist.
And as an artist, I have serious periods of self doubt, loathing and fear. My optimism and pessimism are often at battle. Especially when reviewing my professional development for 2011.
In one corner, my sunshine and roses,cool breezes side throws out things like, “I sold my first book!” “I regained faith in my artistic style!” “I caught the eye of some really awesome agents!”
The other side, my gloomy, dreary, dirty snow side mumbles, “I don’t have an agent yet.” “I have to do some serious work on my portfolio”, “I really thought my viking story was “the one”, “What am I going to do after January?”
But, in the middle of the dark battlefield, strewn with self doubt, and tattered lumps of ego, there are shiny bits and pieces. They are phrases and ideas, they are hope and new opportunities . They are irresistible. They are what will push me forward after I have finished with my paintings for “Maya was Grumpy” and attended the NY SCBWI conference and sent out revisions. They are what the pep uses uses to smash the self-doubt back into it’s deep, dark cave.
They are 31 Picture Book Ideas.