At the beginning of this year I was in a bad place, artistically. I had been searching for an art agent for about a year. I had received form rejections, nice rejections, encouraging rejections and no answer rejections. Then in late January I received an email that was so amazing, so awesome that I think the husband and I screamed and cheered so loudly the house shook. Flashlight Press wanted to publish a story I sent them a long time ago. And to make it even sweeter, I would be their first author/illustrator. (go here for the long version)

Finally, all of the hard work and determination had paid off. I decided it might be a good time to start looking for an agent. Not an art agent, but a lit agent because had I re-discovered my love of writing to complement my love of illustrating. So began the emotional roller coaster of rejections, full requests, encouragement, requests to revise and re-submit and to re-submit future works. I felt like I was closer than ever before but I was not there yet.

Along the way I made new contacts that turned into new friends who gave me honest feedback on my work and encouragement along the way. I wrote more stories, worked on my art and relished in the joy that is working on your first published book.

I felt like quitting many, many times and I did. But then, I decided to try again and that is why I can tell you this today.

I have an agent.

She is awesome. Her name is Joanna Volpe with Nancy Coffey Literary. My feature page is also up.

Hip, Hip, Hooray!!!!

Up, up and away!!!!

I am generally a cheery person. I love to laugh, smile and encourage the same in other people. But don’t let that peppy facade fool you. You see, I am an artist.

And as an artist, I have serious periods of self doubt, loathing and fear. My optimism and pessimism are often at battle. Especially when reviewing my professional development for 2011.

In one corner, my sunshine and roses,cool breezes side throws out things like, “I sold my first book!” “I regained faith in my artistic style!” “I caught the eye of some really awesome agents!”

The other side, my gloomy, dreary, dirty snow side mumbles, “I don’t have an agent yet.” “I have to do some serious work on my portfolio”, “I really thought my viking story was “the one”, “What am I going to do after January?”

But, in the middle of the dark battlefield, strewn with self doubt, and tattered lumps of ego, there are shiny bits and pieces. They are phrases and ideas, they are hope and new opportunities . They are irresistible. They are what will push me forward after I have finished with my paintings for “Maya was Grumpy” and attended the NY SCBWI conference and sent out revisions. They are what the pep uses uses to smash the self-doubt back into it’s deep, dark cave.

They are 31 Picture Book Ideas.